Anniversary effects and decision time

Anniversaries are strange things – personal and public at the same time. They can cheer and depress us, sometimes simultaneously thus not aligning totally with the psychologists’ definition of anniversary effect being solely related to trauma. 

We’ve celebrated 33 years of marriage this month – tongue in cheek this maybe traumatic for my Other Half! Seriously it is though, something deeply personal and yet delightfully recognised by friends and family who were at the ceremony with us, or who appeared in our lives after the event.

We both feel that time has gone in a flash but looking back are astonished that those years have encompassed so much – living, studying and working in France and Switzerland, England and now afloat; the remarkable births of two incredible independent daughters who have grown into delightful young women of whom we are hugely proud, and our own transition from newly-weds to parents, and now grandparents. 

Our wedding anniversaries are regular reminders, that despite life’s ups and downs, we are stronger together and support each other in ways that we would never have initially imagined when we first met all those years ago on the Le Mans 24-hour circuit, a circuit overlooked by the maternity hospital where years later our daughters were both born.

I know for example that I could never have even considered let alone completed my Doctorate for example without our incredibly strong supportive family as Steve also found for his marathons and our charity cycles over the years. We’ve continued adventuring together into new countries, new ways of living and new career paths. The constant has been, and remains, us, together.

August for me also marks the anniversaries of the deaths of my mother, brother  and father, all united by their month of departure although thankfully not in the same year.

It used to be a month I loathed (aligning with the psychological definition of anniversary effect) but now, with time, it is becoming a month when I celebrate them, their lives and achievements, and my gratitude at having them in my life. I also, if I’m honest,  heave a probably stupid sigh of relief when we get to September 1st and I find I’m still here! 

A friend said recently that annual reminders from LinkedIn also depress him. They form for him an annual reminder that he is still in a job he feels lacks challenge and stimulation but from which he feels powerless to move because of circumstances, or perhaps himself… 

For us LinkedIn reminds us annually that Steve has been successfully self employed for over a decade now, and that I am approaching 2 years of self employment, exchanging living for the weekends for living. Those are positive reinforcements that we both made the right decisions for ourselves and our individual as well as joint futures. 

That change of employment reminder for me also indicates we are approaching our anniversary of living and working afloat as continuous cruisers. We are are concluding our second year afloat.

When we set off from Sileby Mill on the River Soar in September 2020 we said we’d “Give it 2 years and see what happens.’ So two years are nearly up, and decisions need to be made. 

One incontrovertible decision this year is that the Boat Safety Certificate (BSS) needs renewing whatever we are going to do.  We need a current BSS to continue cruising or to sell the boat if we decide to move back on land. The BSS is the equivalent of an MOT for boats, ensuring outline safety of the public and boat users. I would give more details but the checklist is 9-pages long, so you can understand that could take an age, so I shall spare you!

Our BSS is now booked for early November in Middlewich, so we have the pleasure of heading to Cheshire once more to get that completed.

Pre work is booked, an examiner is booked, and fingers will remain firmly crossed until we have a new 4-year certificate is firmly clutched in our hands. 

So, what to do as our 2-year self-imposed deadline approaches? Should we move ashore to new challenges, and sell nb Preaux with a new BSS? Should we consider staying afloat but stop continuous cruising and move to a long term or permanent mooring?  Should we return to be weekend and holiday cruisers living ashore with the boat in a marina or boatyard? Should we stay working and living afloat as continuous cruisers and keep cruising off into the sunsets?

Do we increase or reduce our workloads or have we got the balance right? If we stay afloat should we increase or reduce our cruising? 

There are so many choices. Decisions, decisions… what to do? Which way should we go?