We move slowly through life living and working on a narrowboat, but we get as much if not more done than we used to, at a fraction of the stress.
Our stresses are perhaps different, but the pace at which we approach and deal with them appears to make that difference. I am particularly aware that when the pace of life ramps up, that’s when the that’s when the pace of stress increases.
I had a discussion with a client this week about saying no and how that disappoints people, how it can make us feel bad that we see it as a negative when actually saying no to things that don’t chime with our values or that we feel would be wasting our precious time is actually really important. Doing less is no bad thing. It gives us more time to invest in those things that really matter to us. We can slow down without losing anything. Saying no isn’t negative – it means we’re being considered, and evaluative, and that’s what slowing down actually allows us to do, be more effective in what we do do.
This inability to say no and to feel pressure to do everything seems a gendered issue – would you agree or disagree?
As we travel slowly through our chosen way of life, it is evident we gain a different perspective through this change of pace. We are able to cultivate good habits like building in relaxation and our own self-care. We actively have time to think of nothing but enjoy where we are and what we’re seeing around us. This week it has been the colours of autumn. We savour this just like a good meal – we are savouring our time and how we spend it.
We are moving even more slowly now because we are waiting for repairs to a lock to allow us to move to our chosen winter mooring spot. That has meant we’ve had time to do things we wouldn’t generally do, like in my case, taking the bus for an exciting if exhausting city shopping trip.
All those people rushing about around me made me take stock and actively slow down (probably to the annoyance of those behind me on the crowded pavements). Why was I joining the rush when I didn’t need to? Moving to one side and taking my own pace, making my own choices rather than getting barged along gave me back control, and control is important to give us autonomy and active mindfulness.
As we travelled down the Erewash this week, we found ourselves travelling even more slowly thanks to problems with locks but this gave us invaluable time to spend with people we would never have otherwise met.
Strangers are wonderful – they stepped in to help with closing gates, shoving and pushing gates that wouldn’t move, offering advice, and helping, and this was strangers of all ages from youngsters to pensioners. We were so grateful for their willing and generously offered help. Many said it made them feel better, being able to know they had done something for someone else. We will pay that help forward and benefit too.
During this period of waiting, this time of enforced calm, we are using the even slower than usual pace to plan. We’ve begun planning ahead whilst we’re slowing down even more for winter, using the time to make changes to our precious living/working/travelling space. We want something that works for us and how we live, that makes us smile every time we see it for years to come, that makes us think fondly of those who crafted it for us, and makes the most of our space.
Rather than rushing in, we are taking time, researching, talking to other boaters about what works (or doesn’t work) for them, and slowly making decisions, considering options, giving time and being prepared to change our views in the slow process of making the right moves.
We are happy to say a firm no to the ready-made, to the chipboard solutions in favour of handmade, handcrafted and inevitably more expensive solutions that will make us smile with joy as we move forward slowly through the years ahead. We may not manage to afford everything we would love to do in this way, but we have years to continue this project, so we don’t want to rush, but to do it right.
This week let’s think clearly about saying no to what doesn’t chime with our values and goals and take time to move slowly enough to allow us to enjoy, to savour what it is that we do choose to do.
Pickingupducks 