What it takes to be a real life SUPERWOMAN 💪

Inspiration comes in many forms as we discover in our lives, and what chimes with or inspires each of us at different times in our lives varies as much as we do ourselves as individuals. For me this week, this hot week has brought starkly the awareness of how much we are inspired by one individual, an individual who isn’t famous, who hasn’t graced an Honours list but one who inspires by her life, her actions and often what she doesn’t say more than what she does.

There are many remarkable women in my life, of many ages, including my two daughters, myriad friends, and magnificent colleagues, but this one is a true matriarch, an exemplar for us all.

As the years go by, she acquires new identities, from Mary to Mum, Granny, and Great-Granny. This week we’ve had the good fortune to be able to spend time with her sharing our world afloat, seeing its wonder through her eyes, and looking afresh, thanks to her, at things we have perhaps begun to take for granted.

My mother-in-law is quite simply a REMARKABLE woman. She underestimates herself hugely and probably always has and always will.

She is strong – astonishingly so – and has had to be throughout her adult life. She is now 92 – doesn’t look it and certainly doesn’t act like many 92 year olds.

Things haven’t always been easy for her, but she doesn’t complain. She just gets on with what needs to be done. She retrained for a new career when polio took her young husband, leaving her a pregnant widow with two boys aged two and four to bring up. Six weeks after his death, she gave birth to their daughter. They all remember a happy childhood, and that is a tribute to her determination. She remarried, her children all married, two divorced, grandchildren, and great grandchildren arrived, and eventually, she was widowed for a second time. She soldiered on once more, drawing on her inner strength and faith.

The most remarkable things about her are things we can all learn from.

1.       She only ever gives advice if it is asked for. Not for her barbed casual asides or comments about spouses, jobs, colleagues children. The comments she does make are positive. No matter how opinionated the individuals involved, she remains positive or tightlipped. If only we could all adopt this approach, wouldn’t life be better in our families and workplaces?

2.       She is fiercely independent. She rails against the fact that her mind is clearly as active as it ever was but her body is not, but continues to do whatever she can for herself before asking grudgingly for help.

3.       Nothing stops her having a go in whatever way she can manage if she wants to do something. She longs for new legs particularly but that doesn’t stop her pushing her limits, and that’s a maxim we can all adopt whatever age, whatever our circumstances. This week one of her new experiences was coffee in a takeaway cup! [See first picture!]

I’m pretty sure she thought we are totally bonkers moving to live and work on a narrowboat, but now we’ve been able to share time cruising with her, she is appreciative of the calm, quiet and beauty we are fortunate to experience every day. Our first trip together was at the top of the Wigan Flight in May 2021.

This week, we cruised part of the Leigh Branch together aboard nb Preaux. She generously sat inside at the start, leaving the bow seating for her daughter and son-in-law over from New Zealand, saying she’d been out in the cratch on a previous visit, and they should enjoy it as she had, but once one of them moved to the tiller, she was out there, seated in the sunshine. Ducks, ducklings, geese and goslings, two lone cygnets, hundreds of dragonflies and banded demoiselles – vivid turquoise flashes above the water, all entertained us. Like us, she was horrified by the amount of litter floating around, and I began the slow task of netting rubbish whilst she was with us and will continue that again this week.

She stayed in the bow as we made our way up 2 locks to the Wigan Junction before turning and coming back down these big heavy locks. I’ve never sat in the bow through a lock being either on the paddles and gates or the tiller, but I imagine it’s a daunting place to be, right at the front of the boat as you descend into the dank depths with water cascading in front of you or rise from them. She continued to smile as I peered nervously over at her to see that she was OK.

She recognises her limits – she doesn’t like having limits – but she recognises them and in that there is wisdom. She doesn’t cook from scratch any more but still extends hospitality and still pushes her own trolley round the supermarkets buying in provisions for “feeding the five thousand” when we descend on her as we also did this week following her visit to us.

She quietly supports – our fledgling floating craft business is just getting underway, and she generously insisted on seeing our stock and buying items I really don’t imagine she needs or wants. Her generosity and encouragement are, as always, hugely appreciated. We can all reflect on when we last extended unequivocal, generous encouragement to others.

She also saves our marriage – is that uncommon for a mother-in-law? Steve visits her regularly to work through “the list” giving him time away from me 24/7, and me time alone (now with a Boatdog again). It is an absence from each other which is invaluable!

Steve has been lucky to know her all of his life since she gave birth to him (and he wasn’t a tiny little baby). Those who call her Granny and Great-Granny have also known her all their lives.

I have only known her for 35 years but that’s enabled me to learn a lot from her. She made it to France when both my daughters were born to be there and support me. She was quietly supportive – no drama, no saga, no objection to having to cope with innumerable animals inside the house and out when I know she really isn’t an animal person. She didn’t make a fuss, just got on with it, and the animals treated her with the respect she commanded.

Who is the quiet inspiration for you and your life? Are you fortunate to be someone else’s quiet inspiration? (Ah, if only I was – but quiet is something I have yet to master!)

I know she prefers cups and saucers – and I know enough to know she is going to be somewhat annoyed with me for this blog post! (Yes, bless her, shes a subscriber too!)

I only hope her hugely generous offer of a long soak in a bath this week isn’t going to be withdrawn as a result – as many boaters with just showers aboard know, that really would be a tragedy!