Having just been saved by the Skipper from slipping into the chilly canal waters after catching my foot in a mooring ring buried in fallen leaves, I found myself musing on how this life is designed for developing genuine interdependence.
Without his intervention I would probably have slid into the cold waters, drowned my phone and my core temperature and had a far from easy time getting back out. I can’t imagine Boatdog would have hauled me out had I gone in (and the Skipper has indeed hauled me out of the waters before now, as I have him when things have gone wrong).
Independence for us is essential, but interdependence is something else, and perhaps not every way of life is conducive to its development.
As always nature has lessons for us here. Many flowering plants rely on bees or other insects to pollinate them, to enable them to thrive and survive. There are species of flora which depend on birds or mammals to sow their seeds, to enable their continuation. Some might say this is a weakness, but it is a need that results in a symbiotic relationship of mutualistic partnership.
The importance of others to our lives was so apparent during the pandemic lockdowns, when we saw interdependence flourishing in virtual and real ways. Online communities were formed through which we could support each other, and these led to interdependent acts supporting our own and the wellbeing of others – telephone calls, deliveries of cookies to doorsteps, taking daily distanced walks together. We had an opportunity to recognise the necessity and value what others can and do do for us.
Interdependence is about reliance, dependence, consideration and need. Within an interdependent relationship we have personal autonomy as well as mutual cooperation.
At this time of the year, as the first frosts have begun to crisp up the air and the fallen multicoloured leaves, we are depending on our floating home for comfort, warmth of winter fires and winter cooking. Baked potatoes and stews are now staples and the boat is our haven of light and warmth on the longer dark evenings. When we venture out with the dog our breath forms sparkling clouds in the air around us and we return it is with relief we step down into the cosy cocoon of the boat.
We do depend on each other, perhaps even more at this time of year than any other. This is not just about companionship but the tasks which we need each other to do to live the way we do. Each of us has a role to make the other’s life easier. There are many who live afloat alone and we know and admire many of them, but living interdependently works for us. It services as a daily reminder of the importance of being together, of being a team.
We work collectively to achieve our goals, to get through lock flights smoothly, to solve issues together, and interdependence, with its demands of reliance and total trust are fundamental.
At this time of the year living afloat becomes a delight but it also reminds us that living on a boat is not easy, it is a hard life. Things take longer, the challenges are more evident, just in the small things, the essentials that have to be done to survive. Getting water, carrying waste and rubbish to disposal points, fetching shopping and carrying it back to the boat, moving fuel onto the boat and then getting it inside to keep the home fire burning. All these tasks take longer and demand more physical resources when towpaths and bins are wet or icy. Ropes become frozen making moving from moorings or mooring difficult, and lock beams as well as towpaths become slippery. Some years canals freeze under us and then walks to find water and dispose of rubbish, to empty the loo can become miserable, difficult expeditions.
It’s not all plain sailing. When things are tough tempers can become short and frayed. There are sharp words and long silences. But we love the changing season and we thrive on the interdependence this life and particularly the approaching winter demands of us. It is an essential, not just for marriage but for any effective team in any situation – for interdependence breeds and maintains mutual respect, gratitude and cohesion.
